Struggling With Downtime

 It has been five weeks since I last ran and I am struggling to keep a positive mental attitude! In the meantime I have been doing a lot of writing, but not so much about running because writing about running kind of depresses me at the moment. The hardest part is, that now my ribs are healed enough to run, but I chose to try and fix my chronic left heel pain so I have been in a walking boot for 3 weeks, which I am also supposed to wear even when I sleep. This boot keeps my heel immobile. The only time I am supposed to have it off is for showering, physical therapy exorcises, and swimming. If you have been following my blogs at all you know I am a terrible swimmer. I have 3 more weeks of the boot and physical therapy. So far I have really not noticed any difference in my heel and am not optimistic that what I am going through will actually help, which makes matters even worse.

If my heel were feeling even a little better than is does, from not running for even three days, then I would have some optimism but it does not. I am determined to follow through with the therapy and the boot regimen in the slight hope that it will actually help. But, the longer I go without seeing results the harder it is and the more I long to run even if I continue to have the heel pain.

I am close to a large group of runners and hear from many them every day on facebook. I also meet with some of them almost every Sunday morning at Panera Bread after their run. I love to hear about how their runs went and what races they are preparing for, but I miss not being able to share how mine went. Still, just being close to them and hearing their enthusiasm about running keeps me going mentally. I draw a sense of belonging and camaraderie from just being around them and being able to feel their sense of accomplishment and enjoyment of what they have just experienced. For some this might be depressing but for me I draw strength and connectedness from mingling with the group even though I cannot run with them right now. This whole thing would be so much harder without being able to talk and commiserate with my fellow runners.

So what are my plans if the therapy does not work? The answer to that depends on what my doctor says, but most likely surgery would be in the works. That would mean being away from running for 3-6 months. If that is the decision then I will put off the surgery until I complete another marathon and hopefully have the surgery scheduled for the week after the marathon. That way I will be near top shape and not lose as much fitness. It would be awful to go strait from 8 weeks of not running to an additional 3-6 months of not running and be out a total of 8-10 months. I cringe even thinking about it.

There is one other possibility and that is that all of this is actually being caused by a nerve problem originating in my hip and traveling down my whole leg to the heel and foot. I will be having an epidural on Monday, July 15^th. If that gives relief to the nerve problem and allows the muscles to relax more, then that may solve the other problem also.

Still holding on to the hope that I will not need surgery.

Happy Trails,

Russ Barber